Friday, August 23, 2013

A Few Thoughts and Updates

So much floating through my mind. One liners mostly. Things like, "Alone! I just want to be left alone." Not for very long just a couple of days a week maybe. I have loved the time with JJ by himself when the kids are off to school. But this week has been so hard with all of the extra sickness we have had. Caleb's only made it to two days of school this week.:( And then even when it's just JJ and Leif is home sleeping after working the night shift, JJ won't let me take an uninterrupted nap.

Lately I feel like all I'm trying to do is sleep uninterrupted 24/7 and it's a constant battle. When Leif works nights I'm so exhausted through the night that I can't follow through with MAKING everyone go into their own bed. I end up with one kid in Leif's side of the bed and one on the floor at the foot of the bed and occasionally literally in the bed at the foot of the bed. And then to top it off this morning Jakob came in my room at 5:15 after we had all had a rough night and woke Caleb up, who freaked out, which woke JJ up. And if you know JJ at all you know that he does NOT like being woke up!! I was Livid!

My alarm was set for 6:00AM. I took Caleb and JJ both up to Jakob (who had wisely climbed the stairs back up to his room) and I planted a screaming JJ and Caleb into his bed. I made it impeccably clear to him that he was NEVER to come down in the morning before 6:00 and I left the Littles screaming at him instead of me. I walked down the stairs, locked the door, and went back to bed until my alarm went off. Jakob, being the science man that he is apologized to me when I woke up and said, "that's an example of Cause and Effect isn't it? I was the Cause, and they were the Effect." Such Jakob Logic!! If I was in a clearer state of mind I would have said, "yes! But it's also called Mistake and Consequence!"

I have other thoughts floating through my mind. the word Tragic comes to mind. That seems a little melodramatic. But it's the word none the less. This illness that has taken over is so very tragic. For so long it was just an undercurrent of our life as a family. An ongoing annoyance. Gradually it has become the ever present shadow that swallows up all strength and good intentions.  Once we moved to Missouri we were hoping and expecting some kind of miracle, I think. To have it all go away. Or at least to find a magic bullet. but that hasn't happened. Instead we celebrate the good days and hope they will somehow out last the bad days soon.

Missouri is a beautiful place. We live in a town called Carthage. My uncle moved his family out here several years ago and my family has gradually migrated out here as well. My parents and two of my brothers live out here. It has been really neat to get to spend time with my family again. We've had some great times together. I've especially loved getting to know my Niece and Nephew, though I wish they lived just a little closer so we could get together more. My parents have been good to us as well. My boys have enjoyed getting to know them more and an added blessing is that my mom is Caleb's primary teacher.

Right now we live on my aunt and uncle's beautiful ranch in their ranch house. They have been overwhelmingly good to us and living in such a beautiful place is like a dream come true. Thy are trying to sell their other home in Carthage. When they do we will move from here, so they can move onto the ranch. But until then we will enjoy season we are here. Leif and the boys are raising 5 baby hens and 5 baby guinea hens. We are thinking about getting a couple of goats as well. Today I feel hesitant to move forward on that because I have such a hard time helping with them animals.  And Leif's schedule is busy.

Leif is working in Springfield MO. An hour and a half commute to and from work. He is working on their Med-Surg floor and really enjoys his job. He works nights. Typically a 4 on 3 off schedule.

The boys are in school and so far it seems like a wonderful school!! I especially like Jakob's teacher. It's still hard to believe Caleb is in Kindergarten!! So far he seems to be doing well. I'm SO Glad they like their school!!!

We have a good ward here. My uncle is actually the bishop. Leif has been called as the 15 and 16 Yr old Sunday School teacher. He really likes the group of kids he works with!! I have been called as a Relief Society Teacher. I was looking forward to teaching. But my lesson is this Sunday and I'm not sure I'll be able to teach. :(

Well, I think that just about covers the update that I wanted to make. But ti stil seems like there's so much to think about and so much to write about. Birthdays, for one!! JJ turned 3, and Jakob will be 9 tomorrow!! My babies are growing up.
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