This Life Is Not It...

💗((((Yes! I know!!!)))💗  All of you with in the Road Dogs family have lost so many precious souls recently. 💗 I hope you don't mind me sharing from my heart for a moment some of my personal experiences and beliefs; as a mother, in 2006 I was hospitalized for months with a high risk twin pregnancy. Our identical twin daughters had a problem with their placenta. At 24 weeks gestation one of our daughters passed away. Her sister, Rhea, was still alive. Five days later I delivered them with an emergency c section. Rhea survived 9 days in the NICU. Her kidney's had not developed and we had to make the horrifying decision to take her off of life support and let her go. Fast forward 15 years. We now have 4 sons and I have a COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED spiritual calling to care for the frail and fragile animals of this earth. Sometimes it is through birth, and often I am called to escort them through the process of death. Both are incredible experiences! Through my journey as a mother who has known the greatest heartbreak and the brightest joy; and now as a foster mother experiencing the same; I have learned many profound lessons. The one I want to share right now is, it is all worth it! Every second of a life, whether seconds, hours, weeks, months, or years, it is worth it. And, it is enough!! We on this earth only have vision of of a grain of sand compared to the ocean of a life span. There is SOOO much more to life then this speck of sand here on earth. So very much more. As hard as it is to fathom, try not to get to weighed down by the ones who only get a short time on this earth. There's more incredible ocean out there for them then we can possibly imagine. 💗💗💗💗 Love to you!!! 

An Unexpected Gift

This weekend has been wearisome. If you know me really well, you have probably heard myself or my husband talk about a very unexpected and emotionally draining"calling?.. mission?.. gravitational pull towards?" We're not sure what to call it.🤔 Anyway, often times in my journey with caring for animals I end up caring for the fragile and dying. I in no way seek this out. It just seems that I am either helping animals enter the world, or finish their journey. This weekend, I have met a precious puppy who unfortunately is very ill. The rescue and I were expecting a puppy who was being Owner Surrendered because he has spina bifida. But otherwise we had been told he was stable. Sadly, as soon as I took him in my arms and heard him breathing, I knew he was very unwell. I rushed him to the vet. We were expecting a pneumonia diagnosis, and to be on our way. Sadly, it's not so. His problem is actually a congenital deformity of his trachea.😥  I'm not sure what the rest of his story will be. But it has left we deep in thought once again. Pondering this completely unexpected but undeniable connection I have with each of these souls whom I'm directly led to...  I will add more to this thought process and update you on his story. But for now this is a good start.

Soccer GAMES!

We started the soccer season not expecting to be playing games because of covid restrictions. Gratefully, they have changed and JJ played a game today. He did Fantastic! He scored 2 of the 4 goals. It was fun to be there!!

I need to go to sleep. Turn my brain off. But I'm dreading the effort it takes to get Joshua to bed too. And Jakob's still out to a football game. So I'll write.

There's WAY too much going on. I'm sad to feel the weight of having outside places to go again. My kiddos are thrilled! But I'm wearing down Fast. Having to go out half a dozen times in one day for me is way way way too much. I'm to my limit. With no change in sight. It will only get busier and harder. 

And my boys are driving me nuts! They act like they can't do anything. Just waiting for me to do everything. Laziness. It makes me so mad! Such good boys. But this is driving me crazy! 

Our realtor is a joke! I'm pretty sure she's flat out lieing to us that there's someone who wants the house. But we're tied into a contract with her.🤦‍♀️ I'm so annoyed by it all. Mostly because she says the person who wants to buy needs us out by mid May. So the stress is high. It's a long stupid story. But my instincts tell me her story isn't legit. 

The house is a disaster. So if she wants to show it I need to know ahead of time...

Meds Mistakes

Every once in a while I really screw up with my meds. Not as often as in times past. But vacations really tend to throw things off. 

I ran completely out of my Cymbalta. NOT a good idea. I'm Soooo sore and sick right now. But the silver lining is the reminder that this med works and is Critical to my wellbeing. So, there's that.😁

How do I create a relationship with God, the Father, that is deep enough that if He chooses to take one of my loved ones Home to Him before He takes me, I wont automatically be angry at God. Or be resentful? Because I pray very often to be spared another Grief Journey before I die. But there's no guarantee that it will be possible for Him to spare me from this... 

I'm so tired this morning, like every morning. I'm just waiting for my meds and vitamins to kick in. But I just realized that I forgot to take my Adrenal supplement and that I need to reorder my B Complex. Both make a HUGE difference on my energy/wellbeing. So I'll go get them. 

I'm going to send the big boys to church today with friends. Joshua and I will stay home. The thought of getting dressed up and going out was way too much today. I need one day without any outings. I'd go if Leif were home to help lighten the load a bit. He's home every other weekend. 

I'm really hoping to get myself to watch more of The Chosen series. It's a new series about Christ's life. It's really well done. But the adversary really tries to pull me away to other things. 

My arms are too weak to even hold up my phone right now. I'll write more later. 

Late Night Rambling Of The Nitty Gritty Behind The Scenes

My phone is dying. I wonder how much I'll get written??? Remember when I used to sit at a desk in front of a keyboard and screen. WOw! We've evolved. 

So I've taken my sleep aid meds. So I might get loopy. But I feel like jabbering about everything and nothing. 

Leif just started his second contract at San Leandro. He's enjoying it and they love him, of course. It's an ICU floor. So that's been interesting. He does a lot of CPR. Which he hadn't done as often. They call management into the Code Blues. I thought that was interesting.  

Audrey, our nanny, didn't extend her contract with us. She wanted to move on since we're moving.  Her help was invaluable these last few months. I wonder what it will be like without her. I might hire someone to come twice a week to help Joshua with his Physical Therapy practice. I wish so badly that I could just be a normal human and be able to handle all of the every day tasks. But I'm not. And I'm SOOOO GRATEFUL that Leif has worked so hard for us and made it possible to ask for trained help. So Grateful!

I look at our little family and "scratch my head" sometimes. Asking myself if it's normal for every member of the family to have a health issue or label? I know it's not. But I also know every family has their own journey. Ours just happens to have A LOT of health issues intertwined. 

Joshua's Neurologist finally diagnosed him with Cerebral Palsy.  She waited long enough. Grrr!! Gratefully, it's a very mild case. But if she would have named it two years ago he would has had PT for the last two years as well as speech.  ... but, whatever.  Leif asked me if I'm up for the journey of a lawsuit against Joshua's delivery doctors and pediatricians. It's funny how everyone else is JUST NOW getting to the point and conclusion that I was at 2 years ago. But, again,  whatever.  I'm just glad I now have company and support in my conclusion. So, yeah, if at all possible,  yes, I will fight for some retribution for the negligence that took place within the hours before, ... my phone died.

Sanity Savers

Moving AGAIN

Papa's Special Bubble's

 

The Traditional Drive to Wood Hill

 

Easter Sunday and General Conference

Easter Sunday with General Conference is such a special event for our family. We were so blessed to be able to watch and listen to conference and to celebrate the precious gift of the resurrection with grandma and grandpa this year. The hope and peace that Easter and the resurrection brings our family is very personal to our family. We feel the reminder and great joy at knowing that we will see our little girls again. And that they will be given the chance to live again. We are profoundly grateful for our Savior Jesus Christ who has made this possible. 

Colored Easter Eggs And Hunt With Grandma

What a sweet tradition. My boys don't really value these types of traditions, unless there are extra special people involved.  Again,  It was so sweet to see Joshua participate in these special activities with grandma that his brother's had done when they were his age. 

A Visit with Great Grandpa Dixon

Grandpa Dixon and Leif

 

 

Mud! Swords! Stilts! ... Oh My!!

We have desprately missed playing outside and spreading out. This was actually Joshua's first time playing in the MUD. He has been blessed with the sand on the beach. But to watch him play and get messy in the Fredonia mud that his brother's grew up playing in has been really sweet.