HCG Diet 2.0 Update: One Week

This week has been a whirlwind. Filled with a lot of struggle and sickness unfortunately. The stress has caused my auto immune disease to flare leading to a mouth full of sores. So eating has been limited to my shakes. Period. So the weight loss, yeah, it's happened. I'm NINE POUNDS DOWN.  That is a lot of weight and the docs would probably be right if they told me that was too much. But I'm not complaining. At least that's one thing this week that hasn't struggled. ;)

Little Man Has the Flu

We have finally figured out what has made Joshua so sick. He has Influenza A. Poor guy is miserable!!  So are we!  The only time that is a repreave believe it or not is during the night. He's so sleepy that he sleeps six hours straight which is better then his norm. Otherwise, yowza it's bad! His fever was 103. That's what tipped us to know it was more then a bad cold. gratefully that's broke.

The Power of a New Year

Some years January 1st has come and gone for me without enough time to even think about it, let alone set goals and ponder the future. Gratefully today I have time to sit and take it in, think it through, and set some goals.

I drew up five quick goals yesterday while multitasking with Leif. I found the scenario very fitting of our lifestyle. Here we were, Leif and I, driving together to Costco to shop. We're talking story, updating each other on life, and all the while I have my phone in my hand and I was jotting down five goals that I plan to follow throughout this upcoming year.

This is the classic picture of how our life rolls. Big events coming and going throughout the day-in and day-out normalcy of family life. My mind always going in a few different directions at one time. Leif patiently understanding how my mind works. Still knowing that I'm "with him", even though from an outside view it seems that I'm completely disregarding him and our conversation. ... Amazing!

So the five goals that I set aren't necessarily profound. They're the basics of living a Christ and family centered life. But as we know, living "the basics", isn't always the easy way. We tend to clutter our lives with much more then "the basics."  Clutter for me consists of sleep and binging on shows. Then I have the necessary evil of chores that have to be done. Such as keeping the how sanitary and tidy. Notice, I did not say "Clean and In Order." Those things happen. But they aren't always an every day occurrence.

There are a very few Christ centered things that happen throughout the week that I plan to continue. First, we pray a lot. It kinda feels repetitive, I won't lie. But I am so Grateful for every prayer that in spoken in the walls of my home. We pray over almost every meal (especially if Leif is home and meals aren't "fend for yourself." :) We pray before the boys leave for school. And we pray before they go to sleep. We read the scriptures every morning before the kids go to school. In the back of my mind I have a promise that a General Authority gave about the protection that comes to our children when we read the scriptures daily. I'm not naive enough to believe that we'll be spared from all bad things. But I absolutely count on the fulfillment of that promise every day as I send my boys out into the world. I need every assurance I can get that they will have angels surrounding them along their way.  And we go to church on Sunday.

Honestly, those things listed are huge in the life of our children. And I am grateful for the strength of body and mind that has allowed me to make these things a routine part of our daily life. This hasn't always been the case depending on my well-being. We celebrate every good day at our house. :)

This year I hope to add a few things to our routine that will bring us closer to Christ as a family and as a couple.

This year I am going to focus on creating a habit of reading the scriptures personally. I think I will read the Book of Mormon personally and the New Testament with Leif and then more with the family.

Leif and I will add a regular temple trip to our monthly routine. Setting an appointed day in the temple with the Lord.

These last couple, few years I have become more and more able to reach outside of myself and my family bubble towards friendships. This wasn't the case for several years. In fact, I was telling Leif yesterday how sad I am about this. During the time that I was "in my bubble" which was because of illness and grief, I missed out on the last years of a dear friends life. She past away a few years ago and I am often struck with the disappointment of that lost time. True friendships are so healthy and important in our lives here on this busy overwhelming earth. This year I am going to take time to strengthen my friendships.

Something that will most definitely be a challenge for me, I'll be honest. Is creating a habit of weekly Home Sunday School. That's what I'm calling it anyway. The church has given us a full curriculum to follow throughout every week as a family called Come Follow Me studying the New Testament. Now, if you have been an obedient member of the LDS church, you will have been having Family Home Evening lessons every week for years. Let's cut to the chase and let you know that our family has many a Family Home Evenings "playing" together. But the only "lesson" time we have are the life lesson moments throughout daily life and the morning scripture study. And any more then that, well, that is not going to be easy!  BUT, we will do it!! Leif and I are committed and the absolute blessing is that I know my boys are committed to following the commandments and guidance of the prophet as well. This, is all that we need to succeed. Some how, it will all work out...

Finally, this year, I am going to focus time daily on blogging. President Eyring talks about the fact that he writes in his journal Every Night before going to sleep, "no matter how tired" he is. So, I say to myself, if a man as busy as him can do that, so can I.

So, there it is: My five New Year's Resolutions for the year 2019!

Happy New Year!!!

We celebrated the new year with some great friends! The Days, Flints, and Mills. What a Blessing to be surrounded by such great people. We feel so blessed!!

Attached at the Hip

This little guy is extremely attached to me. At home everyone tries to help me get a break and rest. But for the most part, it's me and him.   He follows me everywhere. I don't remember the other boys doing this. Really, I don't mind THAT much. But it's really hard physically to lug him around if need be. I'm SO grateful for so many friends who help me with him at church!! I'm grateful for the carrier that I have that goes on my waist and gives him a seat to sit on. I'm grateful for my family who take turns with him. And I'm so grateful for him! I really love having a baby right now. He's such a light in my life!!!

A Suprise Visit

My brother Jared and his family came to CA for a vacation. We were able to spend the afternoon and evening together. I am Sooo Glad we had the time together!

Hard Things Ahead

I've promised myself that I will write every single day. So, here I am. In a way I'm glad that I don't have a lot of readers anymore. Because I am very rusty at finding good topics of discussion...

At the moment, I'll just talk about life. The day after Christmas we got some very stressful and discouraging news. The Nurse Practitioner that Leif was going to precept with (follow around for school) canceled. This is a HUGE deal. When she agreed to precept Leif I felt like an elephant had been lifted off of my shoulders. I can't imagine how Leif felt. So it's hard to have that stress back.

But I feel somewhat peaceful about the situation.  Or, I just haven't taken it back on. Although, today I think I came up with some good ideas on what we could do to find preceptors. First, I think we'll call on some of Leif's Travel Nurse recruiters and see if they want a side job of finding doctors to precept Leif. It takes lots of phone calls, follow up calls, emailing back and forth. So we need some help!! Leif doesn't have the time AT ALL. And my mind and social ability is only intact 6 days out of the week. So I'm useless. It's a nightmare!!

So, the second idea is for Leif to square away precepting with the doctors he worked with in Kanab or Panguitch (Utah). He would then work a 6 days on/8 days off schedule. He would drive to Utah on the days off. It is reminiscent of his initial nursing school degree experience. When he lived in Flagstaff and we lived 5 hrs north in Fredonia.

It would be a nightmare!! But we would survive. I only know that now because we have survived so many hard separations since then. When he went to Flagstaff it was the first time we were ever apart. I almost didn't make it. It took a horrendous toll on me emotionally to be without Leif.  But I am praying that I have learned coping skills from our experiences since then. And I just have a sure knowledge that we can do hard things if need be. We'll be working on figuring out the details over the next few weeks.

Tell Me About 40 Years Old!

Tell me about 40 Years Old. What are the traditions. What makes it Great!? What makes it Horrible!?  What should we do to celebrate???

Leif and I both turn 40 this year. Like, in a week! ;) 

So Much More Than PMS: PMDD.

Do you ever wonder if you have multiple personalities? I have. Instead, I have what is called PMDD. Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. IT means within the 30 days of my menstrual cycle I litterally cycle through 5 different stages of being. When it's really bad, I do wonder if it feels similar to a Dissociative Identity Disorder.... Below I have written about MY TYPICAL CYCLE.  Starting now, I will label each post I write with the Stage that I'm in. I do this because as my cycle evolves, so will my writing voice...   It's quite a fascinating phenomenon, really. Albeit, hellish at times!

STAGE ONE (DAYS 1-6): Are a bloody migraine-filled mess. I try hard not to schedule anything outside of the house. For that matter, I try not to have to get out of bed for the first few days of this week because of the mess.  

STAGE TWO (DAYS 7-13): The bloody fog has lifted and lightened by this week. This is my week to make important phone calls, visits, Dr appointments, and grocery shopping. My mind is clearer and so is my heart. I find myself feeling more caring, romantic, and affectionate this week. Which is a blessed change from the other weeks in the month. However, this is also the week when my nights are filled with vivid nightmares and my days may be spent starting my next novel, maxing out a credit card on household organizing goods, or hyper-focusing on my friends and family and our relationships if I am not able to keep it all in check.

STAGE THREE (DAYS 14-20): By day 16 I have returned back to hibernation mode. My body wants to do nothing but sleep and eat sweets. My mind is filled with fog and anxiety about all of the stupid things I did or said during the last week of my energy filled whirlwind. My face, mouth, and throat are covered with autoimmune vasculitis; my body hurts all over, and my tongue seems to be directly connected to my frontal lobe which means sometimes you’ll hear me swear like an ol’ fashioned sailor.

STAGE FOUR (DAYS 21-26): Unfortunately this week things don’t really let up, except for the fatigue, sometimes. By now, Marge has surely entered the scene. Marge is the name for my alter ego. She has the ability to destroy a marriage if she’s let out of control for too long. She is filled with anxiety and a fear of rejection. She suffers from PTSD related to the loss of our girls and an emotionally rough childhood. She can cut Leif to the core in one seething second if not reigned in and shut up.

STAGE FIVE (DAYS 26-30): If we’re lucky Marge has left the building by now and things have settled down emotionally and psychologically so we only have the physical yuck to deal with leading back into day one. This is also another time when I might be more up for a romantic evening if we get the chance.
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