ADD and Autism Are Just... Hard!

We went to our new ward today for church. The people were really nice and there was an overall good feeling there the whole day. But truthfully, by the time we got home I was exhausted and in a funk. It's just hard sometimes. It's hard going to new places where no one know us and no one knows our story. Our trials and triumphs. Then again, sometimes that is Really Nice! But that's a subject for another time and another post. :)

I think we all handled the struggles at church really well. JJ refused to eat ANYTHING the entire morning before church and honestly I completely forgot to insist on him eating until we were on our way to church at 1:00 and he was insisting that he was HUNGRY! Poor guy!! Gratefully, he fell asleep 10 minutes into the meeting. Caleb made it through 40 minutes of Sacrament meeting before his little body was ready to get up and MOVE! For the last couple of weeks his struggle has been picking at any sores he has on his skin. And if they aren't sores, he will turn them in to sores. And if it's not his nose, a sore, or a freckle;  it's his belly button. Sometimes we have to cover his belly button with a band aid to prevent an infection.  Well, today he started picking during the Sacrament meeting. And when I checked him in primary he was still twisting his skin and picking at it.

Right now, We're having bedtime battles with JJ and Caleb. JJ can't sleep because he napped through church. Caleb's not sleeping because his body won't let him. So far he has been caught searching the apartment for lost money, and emptying the fridge and making himself a snack. And he acts completely unaware that these things are a problem until we are seriously angry. We've followed the same bedtime routine that we've followed forever. But within the last year there are nights when we just can't win. We'll find him doing strange things throughout the night unless we stay right with him all night. He's unpacked boxes, climbed up to shelves in closets and accidentally dumped them, and he's made all kinds of food throughout the night. Sigh... In fact, I have to stop writing so I can go take care of the current struggle. It often feels like I am Constantly on the run!

The End of a Chapter - The Beginning of a New

And thus ends another chapter in the L&L Baron family story. We are officially moved out of the ranch House and in to an apartment in Willard/Springfield. Today as we drove away from the Ranch I was hit with the reality of this change. I thought about how JJ had run strait for the dirt pile when we stopped at the ranch this evening and what it felt like to call him away to get in the car, knowing that it will be a while until he can sink his little hands into the dirt again. I pondered the serenity and beauty that is endless around the Ranch. For some reason we just can't feel that at the apartment complex. ;) We will miss living on the Ranch! Nothing will compare to the precious gift this last year has been. There have been Many challenges. But there have been oh so many wonderful lessons and once in a lifetime experiences.

We have spent the last week with Grandma and Grandpa Baron and Erik, Stacey, and Victoria Baron. They made the long journey to spend a week with us here in MO. It was not really part of the original plan to have their visit overlap our moving days. In many ways I feel bad that it happened that way. It took time away from the time that we could have been playing. But I am also overwhelmed with gratitude for their love and support. They helped us in so many ways. Truthfully, we Never would have reached our goal to be moved out before the kids start school if it weren't for their help and the help that my parents, church members, and friends have given as well.

While the family was in town we spent a lot of the time just like ol' times, tinkering around fixing odds and ends (Big and Small), visiting, eating, and shopping. We also made time to spend a few days playing hard. We managed to work out the schedule so we could get my family together with Leif's family and have two BBQ's at the Ranch, one which included night games and dutch oven. Another afternoon we went to Joplin Falls and swam in the river. We also went to Silver Dollar City and had a wonderful time and came home Exhausted!! Caleb experienced his first roller coaster ride. He went on Thunderation. He LOVED It!!! We were so thrilled to see his excitement and pride afterward. One of the nights everyone except the little boys and I went on a haunted castle tour. They had a good time until the end when Jakob suddenly Passed Out flat! He had gotten overheated and excited and passed out and then vomited to add more excitement to the experience. Everyone came home pretty shook up. :(  And today before Leif took everyone to the airport we all went to Bass Pro Shops. We had a fun time walking through the shops and museums. It was a great way to end our time together. We're already trying to plan the next time we'll be together...

The boys start school next week. They are excited. I am looking forward to the way school helps them in general. But I feel nervous and hopeful about the upcoming weeks as we get to know teachers and the school and find out how the overall dynamic will be for that part of our life. We will also go to our new ward for church tomorrow. We have heard many good things about church and the school. So I am praying that all will go smooth enough to find the peace that is to be found.

I have set a goal to write again. It has been a year since I've written regularly. It is time to write again... so, here's to the amazing chapter that is ending and to the new chapter that is just beginning.

A Small Description of My Shoes, and How it Feels to Walk in Them

Every once in a while I need to take a minute to remind myself what causes my physical ailments to, and to find he words to explain how it feels to walk with them.

I have three separate conditions that seem to intertwine themselves at times and make the overall outcome beyond description.

First, I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. CFS is caused by the Epstein Barr Virus that lays dormant in my system and flares at times and rages at others. Epstein Barr Virus is the Virus that causes Mono. So in essence, you could think of this "syndrome" as an endless case of Mono without the contagious factor added to it.

Second, I have a Mystery Condition that at times is classified as Fibromyalgia. But more often is classified as an unknown Auto Immune Disease. It most often shows it's symptoms within my Joints, my Gut, or in my Brain.

Third, I have a lovely case of Depression and General Anxiety Disorder. This is somewhat the result of genetics and most often inflamed by the stress and frustration of the first two conditions previously discussed.

Sometimes I am able to wrap all of these conditions up nicely and carry them in an invisible "backpack". that isn't noticed by those around me and is easily managed by myself and my family. Other times these conditions creep out and become a monster of their own that takes over my every day life and functioning. When this happens life can feel so overwhelming I can hardly breathe.

That is how I feel at this very moment.

But feeling like this is absolutely not an option for very long. Minutes... Maybe hours... And then I must pull myself together. Call upon the Powers of Heaven and force myself to take the steps that must be taken to perform the tasks and chores that must be done to keep the boat afloat.