Three Years Have Passed

From Jakob and Rhea

I was sitting in our little nursery with the kids the other day and we were admiring the curio filled with all of the little mementos from our girls. I then realized that the anniversary of their delivery was coming up. They would have been three years old yesterday.

Time does truly heal. We still talk about the girls in one way or another on a daily basis. But the pain of their loss is not constant. I am now able to be grateful that I can raise them in a perfect world. Throughout my day yesterday I reminisced here and there about some of the memories I have of the time with my girls. I had very little time with LeOra. But I had 8 days with Rhea.

After the emergency C-section I instinctively knew that I needed to spend as much time with Rhea as I possibly could. So either I was blessed with a quick initial recovery, or I fibbed and was able to go to her hours after I delivered. That was a special day. My in-laws had come to be with us and care for Jakob. The veil between this life and the next was very thin. I remember feeling almost as if we were all in the midst of heavenly clouds. Wrapped in a peace and comfort. This was the spirit of the Lord and His comfort. My father in law tells of his experience of actually being allowed to see his mother (who had passed away years before) bringing LeOra (grandma's namesake) to visit Rhea in the NICU and then to me in my hospital bed. I can sense their presence when they are near though I have never seen them.

Yesterday I was looking through books online for the boys. I came across the original version of the book "The Little Engine That Could." That was the book that I read out loud to Rhea as she lay in the NICU. I need to buy that book...

Jakob asked the other day if he was ever able to hold Rhea. He actually held her on the day that we took her off of life support. But the picture we took of them turned out fuzzy. But the memory is clear. Jakob held her and tried to give her his binky. It was a precious time.

Though we would rather have our girls with us at this moment. It is a true blessing to know that the Lord can heal our hearts in time. I am ever grateful for this knowledge and the comfort that it brings me in this life. I look forward to the day when we will be with our girls again.

So, my sweet Rhea and LeOra. Thank you for your precious love and memories. We are doing our best to live worthy to be with you again.

From Jakob and Rhea

From Jakob and Rhea