Sunday, February 11, 2007

Happy Sunday!

Happy Sunday!

It turned out to be a good day. I have been really tired. So by the time we got home from church I was GRUMPY! But we all took a fine nap. I woke up though to the fact that the house was a disaster and honestly, I REALLY need a dishwasher!! After some serious positive thinking exercise and "I can do this" affirmations, I actually was able to get up and do what needed to be done. Leif was a blessing and helped with the dishes. That was the last time that we're letting them get like that! I'm healthy enough now that there is NO excuse... :) Anyway, I did some cooking tonight too. Homemade grahm crackers. They're actually pretty good.

I cut up a bunch of veggies to freeze tonight too. I realized that I'm coming to a turning point in my grieving. I will be able to throw away the breastmilk that I pumped for Rhea and still have stored in my freezer. As a mother, that is a very tender experience. At least for me. That was the one thing that I could do for Rhea and hope that it would be used. But, it wasn't... and it won't be. I have tears running down my face now, but you know what, I'm alright!

It's amazing the love that we still feel for our little girls even though we barely knew them in this life. Truly amazing! Leif was reading the past entrys in this blog the other night and had an "Empty Arms" moment. We love each other through those moments and we cry, and then we continue to live.... Never forgetting the babies, yet we move forward... I feel that this is healthy grieving.

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