Thursday, February 22, 2007

Our Vision Is Coming to Pass February 07-April 08

The last couple of weeks have been quite wearisome! We have been in desperate need of financial security. But my pacience was being hard pressed. Leif was handling things better than me. The cop jobs sounded nice when it came to benefits and money coming in. But the accadamy itself was a nightmare to think about. We have been working very hard at establishing our goals and our visions and working towards them, using positive thinking to keep us going. But it just boiled down to the fact every night that something needed to happen soon financially to really make anything work in the future.

Well, it happened today!! Milo called Leif this morning!:) Leif went in and took him his resume. They talked for a good hour. Milo told Leif all the he wanted Leif to do, starting now. We're Soo Excited. Technically, the pay is on commission. But Leif is going to talk to Milo about giving him an advancement so that he can quite his optometrist assistant job and work full time for Milo. I'm sure it will all work out!

I have four Pampered Chef shows lined up already. I don't even have my kit yet.:) So things are looking good there!

Awakening Your Health is coming along. The news today has given me the energy booste that I need to finish it!

Our vision is awakening!:)

After this post was written I kept a family journal on omy computer
from June 10, 2007 until April 6, 2008.
The following is a copy of those journal posts:
June 10, 2007
Leif began yet another job this month. I say that sarcastically. I shouldn’t even say it like that because every job that he has worked has been right for the time. He is now working very much full time with Winder Farms based out of West Valley Utah. He works in SG as a sales rep. He enjoys the job because it pays well and he believes in the service and product that he is offering the people. His hours are long and late. He leaves around Noon and arrives home around 10:00PM. He earns a base of $1000.00 when he meets his minimum sales as well as a fine commission on every sale. He has proved to be a great representative for their company. They are very pleased with him and we are proud of his very hard work. Being without Leif much of the week is not at all easy. We have gone from being together all but a small part of the day to only seeing each other for a few short hours. I try to stay cheerful by keeping the house clean and Jakob played with and cared for. I work on deep cleaning projects; and I read. I am so grateful for books. I want to take up a hobby like braiding rugs. But we don’t have a penny for any direction books or materials. So, that hobby will have to wait.
We had the doctor take the birth control IUD out on the first of this month. That was an emotional event. I have been looking forward to getting pregnant again, or, rather having another baby, for the last seven or so months. But the night before the dr appointment I cried a lot and realized that I was frustrated because I didn’t want to go through pregnancy again. I was angry because “I have babies” why do I have to do it again. But, the moment past and my heart calmed and I knew all would be well. Leif held me through my tantrum and we talked. I told him how I have been figuring a plan to have a “beautiful” pregnancy this time around. But I was realizing that I didn’t really know what a beautiful pregnancy was. Leif was wise and filled with the spirit when he said; the first thing to remember is there is no such thing as a perfect pregnancy NONE. The other thing he said was to be happy. To just be happy! That is a beautiful pregnancy. So … I will! Since we have made the decision to get pregnant again, I’m hoping to be pregnant sooner then later. I have a little fertility recipeJ and the rest is up to the Lord. My recipe consists of Maca Root, Guafenisen (Musinex), baby aspirin, water, and lots of Fun ;) . So, we’ll see what happens.
From 2007
We went to the cemetery in Brigham City for Memorial Day. Technically we could have gone on the Saturday. But I found that I was quite melancholy about visiting the babies site… teary eyed and moody. I was also very tired from a long trip. But we went in the morning (Sunday) when everyone was at church. I felt a lot better and the spirit was peaceful. We cried a bit when we got there and walked Jakob out to their spot.
From 2007
We told him that this was where the babies’ bodies were. I then out of the blue asked him where the babies’ spirits were. He immediately pointed up to the sky as if it was a well known, simple fact. “And a child shall lead them…” He pointed up during a prayer since then and said babies. They are still all kindred spirits.
It is a special time in our lives. Every day is new. I struggle so much to just stay content and happy with just the every day joys. It is a personal struggle of mine; almost a medical issue. But when it boils down to it, I am happy and I dearly love my little family. Leif and I look forward to moving out on our own as soon as we can. We very much love his parents. But once you begin a family, you should be running that family on your own (except the emergency rescue moments.) We are able to read our scriptures as a family each morning and pray together. I am sure that is most of what gets us all through the time away from each other. We both lack in our ability to fulfill our callings; Leif, because of his work schedule, and I because of my struggle to just maintain my soul and family strength. But I pray that I will be able to step up day by day and serve better. 12:17AM. Must go to sleep. Hormones play such a roll in our lives as women. Estrogen surge = insomnia. Maca brings relief until this week (lots of hormones). This too shall pass!!
June 14, 2007
Wowsers! Life is so fun sometimes. Fun in a sarcastic way. Today I have done nothing productive with Jakob except a couple short stints of Battle Ship and playing with the Little People. Otherwise, I have read my book all day as he watches Sesame Street or Babe off and on. I had a Presidency meeting and a visit from my Visiting Teachers and FayLynn. But otherwise, I have felt absolutely no motivation to do anything constructive. Jakob is kicking the door and asking to be rocked, so I’ll be back. … I’m back and hopefully he’ll fall asleep. I don’t know. I was just plain depressed today. Not sad, just a lingering melancholy. We finally made it to 7:00PM and went to the park for an Elders Quarm picnic. It was fun but I really felt lost in the beginning without Leif. I hate being without him. I was fine once things started picking up. But then his mom and I got talking as we walked home and I realized that she didn’t quite have the view on our future that I thought she did. She still wants us to stick around and do the Real Estate with Milo. I am frustrated because we are trapped. We are living here and we are feeling the restraints of obligation.
June 20, 2007
I was preparing lunch this afternoon as Leif and I were talking about finances. The thought came to me about how we keep saying that things can only go up hill from here. I sure hope that is true. Because things are not very easy right now. But I guess if it’s not one thing that’s a trial it’s another. Leif has been working so hard. But he got paid today and all of our money is already gone. His job pays well. It’s just that our debt is sucking us dry. If all goes as planned, we should begin to have enough for our needs by the end of July. Sooner if we’re lucky. But ohhh, until then.
My job right now is to gather anything that we can sell to make money. I will be so grateful when this financial burden is lifted. On another hand, as hard as it is to be away from each other so much; Leif and I are very much enjoying our evening reunions. Marriage is a beautiful union. At least ours is… a true blessing. I hope we haven’t been foolish in allowing the possibility of pregnancy into our life right now. But we both want it. That’s a good thing. I just have to rely on my trust and faith in the Lord that He will set all things up according to the best timing for our family. If we have learned one thing it is that, we can survive. Although, I do look forward to a stable summit in the near future. That is my prayer anyway.
On a personal level, I feel good. But I do struggle with my weaknesses. My inability to be content with the present, my lack of motivation to Get Out and do things. (Visit people, weed the garden, play in the water, go to the park.) I am really messed up that way. We still go walking a few days a week. And that gets us out. But I know Jakob would love to do more. If I could just enjoy life without Leif being by my side. Nothing is at all as enjoyable as it is when I am with Leif. I just feel incomplete. It is very hard for me to have him working so much and during the prime of the day. BUT, it is good for us! I need the forced independence. We need the money. Leif needs the experience and the assurance that he is doing all he can to help us. Jakob is surviving. I think he is okay. I try to play with him throughout the day. Some days are better then others. Leif’s parents are a God Send! Jakob loves his reprieve from me in the evenings as he plays with them. I just have to accept the help and be grateful. Even if Jakob tends to be Very Extra Loved. He is still a sweetheart and a precious gift. I really think that my life will get easier (in a way) just by having more children. That’s why Leif and I are truly hoping for another set of healthy twins. I need more children to take up my time and mind space. Jakob needs more friends and playmates. Speaking of Jakob, he is awake.
June 21, 2007
Jakob is asleep and went down pleasantly. That was a nice change. Ever since he’s changed and insisted on being rocked to sleep, life has been a tiny bit more difficult. But at the same time, I think I will cherish the time I get to hold him. Holding him is a very rare occurrence during his awake times. He requires my attention, but not as much affection. His primary love language right now is Quality Time. Just like mine. Unfortunately it is not his time I require as much. Jakob is a precious child. Unusual in his nature. He is loved by all that know him. He is very popular at church and in the neighborhood. His eyes sparkle. It is only those of us who are with him every day that see his little spoiled streak. Grandma truly spoils him and that isn’t very easy to ignore anymore because he is bringing the expectation home with him. Ahhh… maybe he isn’t going to go down as well. I hear his beckoning; Mamma…. We’ll see.
Today Leif and I looked through our boxes in storage to try and find a diamond ring that Leif bought before we were ever dating. It was not my style. We saved it and knew that we could use it for money some day. Well, we can’t find it. We sure can use it… It’s very much like how I feel. Something precious or delightful is hidden somewhere and is sure to come up, we just need to find it. I pray for peace. I was practically in tears when Leif left for work today. I want so much to be strong for him. But I feel my emotions so strong and right at the surface. I am definitely in a depression. It is either just the circumstances of life and fatigue, PMS, or pregnancy. I am trying to work myself out of it and just find things to keep my attention that cheer me up. I will learn how to knit from Harmony soon. I think I’ll ask her to teach me tonight. I just need to get the motivation to call her before our daily walk at 6:00. They invited me to dinner last night. That was helpful in lifting me up. We didn’t get to have a friend over for Jakob like we had hoped. I need to call her again and try to set up another time. I will be learning how to braid rugs too. I just need to get that set up. I will do that tonight!!
I’m reading a series called “Prelude to Glory” it is about life during the revolutionary War through to the restoration of the gospel. It has been a great learning experience. I have pondered what life was like for these dear women who had to let their husbands go off to war. I looked up information about Martha Washington today. It was nice to hear that she was a sweet woman with a cheerful disposition. I wanted to lean about her correspondence between she and her husband during their times apart. Unfortunately she burned all of the letters between them except for two before she died. That is a tragedy in my opinion. But I understand her dying need was her need to preserve that privacy that would surely be publicized and critiqued. She was a woman who taught that our character is defined by our disposition, not our circumstances. That is the virtue that Father is trying to teach me right now. Jakob is playing with his toys. I’ll have to go try and lay him down again.
June 29, 2007
Jakob is down. Let’s hope for the night. It’s been a while since I last wrote… I did invite Harmony over to teach me how to knit. It was an enjoyable evening. I actually caught on. She taught me how to do the pearl stitch. I did fine for a few days. Then somehow it got messed up. Not too uncommon for a first time project. I was bummed. But I’m trying to get back together with Harmony so she can teach me again how to start a project. This time I want to make some dish rags with wool string. It’s supposed to be mildew resistant. I need some rags like that!! I have been as mean as a coiled up rattle snake this last week and a half. I strike and it’s like my anger’s been pent up and ready to explode forever. Leif has never had to take such harsh words from me, let alone defend himself against them. I feel so terrible about it!! I felt even worse when Jakob woke up from a nightmare in the morning barely after I had ripped in to Leif for no real good reason. I invited the nightmare and I felt definitely the need for repentance. CRAZY!! I feel imbalanced. I haven’t felt like this for months. I think it is just the sudden change and all of the time without Leif. He was my strength. Now I have to find myself, and my Savior.
As I try to do that, I have also ordered an herb that is supposed to help me balance my serotonin and dopamine. I read a book and took a quiz about our body’s chemicals. The quiz said that I am severely deficient in both chemicals. This stems from chronic stress… Go Figure. We still want to try and keep me off prescription anti depressants. So hopefully this herb Ashwagondah will help. I’ve picked myself up enough the last couple of days enough to go for a bike ride with Leif and Jakob. That has been really good. I hope we’ll be able to do something like that for a while. I had one night of severe insomnia this week. No fun! We figure that I’m either having a bad PMS month or pregnancy. Funny how the symptoms are so similar. I have had some cramping the last couple of days… so who knows. Either way will be fine.
Leif’s mom has accepted the fact that we need to move to SG. She talked to me about the idea of us using Erik’s big trailer that is just parked out here and live in it at an RV spot in SG until we can rent somewhere. She wants us to come back during the week or on the weekends. She is really attached to Jakob… and us. Leif and I will talk about the idea tonight…
July 13, 2007 (Friday)
It’s been a while. As usual a lot has happened. We threw the idea of a trailer around for a while. But we couldn’t find anything under $400 a month. It just wasn’t making sense. Nothing was until I finally woke up one morning and Leif told me that he had to borrow money for gas to get to work. Something hit me and I just went in to the “where there’s a will, there’s a way” mode. I called a few daycares and there were a couple of openings that I could work and take Jakob with me. Rent had gone down a little in SG so we could actually contemplate the idea of moving. We found about four town homes that were in our price range ($800 a month.) We headed out that afternoon to SG to find me a job and us a home. We got 15 minutes out of F, our faith wavered, and we concluded that we were crazy to think that we could get in to a town home in such short notice. We threw out the idea. We decided that we could do the trailer and me work. So we continued in to SG.
I applied for the job, we drove around the RV Park, and we went into the area that Leif worked in so he could knock on some doors. We got to a park and were just settling Jakob and I there when the phone rang. It was a man I had talked to earlier asking if we wanted to come look at his place. Leif answered and told him we had decided we couldn’t do it. As he was talking I remembered talking with the guy. He told me they weren’t sure what they wanted to do for a deposit and they were flexible. As Leif hung up I asked him what we would need in order to get into a place now. He said that we would need someone that would eliminate or delay the initial deposits. I told him what I had just remembered and he called him back to discuss our options. We were thrilled to find that the couple was very open to helping us with what we needed. We drove over to the town home and immediately we all knew that we were all in the right place at the right time.
From 2007
The home will definitely meet our needs and Jason and Jenna our landlords are wonderful. Father directed us. Driving in to SG that morning, we were at our limits, humbled to the core. We needed help! We needed someone to just give us a chance! And they did. It was another lesson on faith for us. Leif is applying for a morning job as a waiter and I will be doing in home child care. It will not be easy! But we feel good about the direction we’re going. Right now I am packing things up. I’m tired. Jakob is sick. Poor guy has some kind of bug in his gut that won’t go away. He throws up at night. Has a low grade fever and diarrhea during the day. And he is definitely on the disagreeable side. But we’re hangin’ in there.
Leif gave me a blessing this morning. I have really been tempted to go on meds again to help me stay up in spirits. But I was told to use the Lord as my anti depressant through prayer, scripture study, and fasting. I will really try. We read scriptures in the morning at breakfast. That has been really nice. We were told again that we have children who are preparing to come in to our family and our job is to continue to prepare for them and they’ll come in the Lord’s time. I am trying to be content and at peace. It is a struggle beyond belief for me!! To just stay happy and cheerful…. I am anti social more then ever. Once I get out I am fine. It is just a matter of getting out. Crazy! But maybe this move will help me. I did speak at the nurses in-service yesterday at the hospital about the articles that I wrote for parents and hospital employees concerning still born and sudden death of a baby. It turned out well. They all said that they benefited and that I should continue sharing with other nurses. I will… Well, it’s dinner time.
July 26, 2007
We’ve moved in to our little town home and so far everything is fitting nicely and we’re doing well. Finances have been stressful. Leif’s last check was substantially lower then we thought it would be. So the mercy of our land lord has been an incredible blessing. Leif secured a morning job at Wal-Mart and is earning almost $10.00 per hour as a cashier. That should be very helpful. I hope it all works out. He’s working so much. It’s hard for all of us and he hasn’t even started at Wal-Mart. Leif came upon a pilot instructor while working a little while back. He’s thinking about going through pilot school. I think it might be a good idea. He met the instructor on the day that I was fasting and praying for direction. We have to get out of debt before he can go to school. So he has to take this year and work as much as he possibly can. I will do babysitting here and there as much as I can. We’ll see what happens.
We have a really neat ward here. They have welcomed us in with open arms and helping hands. I had two families bring cookies in one night. One family bring a ward list and welcome us, one family invite us for Sunday dinner, and the RS Presidency come to visit. I also have a new friend with a nice boy Jakob’s age who invited me and Jakob to go visiting teaching. It is nice. I still struggle at times. But I am really happy where we are.
It was our fourth wedding anniversary last night. Leif surprised me with roses and flowers as well as ice cream and M&M’s. I surprised him with new candles on our bed side stands and romantic music. It was a lovingly evening… What a gift our Love is! We got many of our pictures hung up this morning. It is so fun to hang them all. We even got the babies painting hung. It looks really nice. I am going to work on some photo projects. That should be fun… Well, that’s our story right now….
August 11, 2007
We’re Pregnant! I found out on August 5, 4 days before my period was due by taking a sensitive PG test. We were pondering going back on the pill if I wasn’t PG so I could work as a nanny. We’re glad I’m pregnant and hope that it stays! I’ve had subtle symptoms but nothing too extreme. We’re happy that we found a good doctor and we get to see his nurse on Monday and him on Tuesday. He’s a specialist and recommended to us because we are a high risk pregnancy.
Leif’s been working a LOT! We hate his hours and are looking for another job that he can do for the next year to get out of debt and then a career job. Probably have to do some education first. We’re thinking massage until the career change. My moods have calmed tremendously since I became pregnant which is a special treat. I’m working on preparations for the future like little recipes and food ideas for nausea and headaches (magnesium) Blackstrap Molasses ginger cookies with Almonds. They’ve helped so far. Lentil soup/bean soup for folic acid and Chlorophyll for more magnesium and cell production and body cleansing. Magnesium helps the muscles and nerves in the body calm too. I use it in hopes of preventing miscarriage. Hopefully all will go well!! I’ll keep you posted. We have a wonderful ward that has been a great support. Financially, friendship, and spiritually. Blessing!!
October 22, 2007
It’s been a long time. Well, I’m still Pregnant and happy to be! This pregnancy hasn’t been easy. But it’s been easier then the others. So I’m really grateful for that!!! I had low progesterone in the very beginning and had to start taking progesterone supplements to sustain the pregnancy. It worked. I was sick from week 7 to 10 REALLY bad. It then slowly subsided to sick in the evenings now and I am strong most of the time during the day. I’m really grateful for that!
From 2007
I’m hoping the baby is a girl. But I will be thrilled with a boy too. We have an ultrasound next week on Halloween and I will be 17 weeks along. We should be able to tell at that time. We’re excited!! It will be a good time for some fun news. The one-year anniversary of the babies’ birth is the day before Halloween. I’m sure we’ll be fine. But it will be nice to have a little boost. I’m really glad to be PG at this timeframe. I finally got my dad to edit my Baby Loss articles. My mom read them too and they both thought they were really well done. That was a nice compliment. It’s nice to have them professionally edited too. Now I feel okay about passing them around. I was happy to see that there weren’t very many errors.
I thought that I had updated that Leif has started school. Guess not. But he hasJ He started this semester at Dixie State College. He’s going full time getting all of his General Education done. He will apply for the Radiological Technologist (X-Ray Tech) program at Weber State University in Ogden this spring. He will begin that program in the fall of 2008. In the mean time, we will move back to F, save on rent for spring semester and summer, and then move to Ogden. He will commute to school during the spring. After he gets his X-ray tech degree, he will move on to get a BS in Sonography (Ultrasound Tech) we’re excited about the path we’re on!
Jakob turned 3 years old and is growing up. He’s throwing a fit right now. He didn’t want Leif to go to school. He’s getting over a cold so he’s still fussy. I’m letting him vent for a while. He’s starting to understand a lot more about the world around him and say a lot of cute things. nmhj He likes to type on the computer too. He stopped his fit and later got on the computer so he could add to my entry. Some of the cute things he’s said lately are 1. He said his first prayer all by himself. When it was time to say what he was thankful for he said he was thankful for “the baby, my house, my room…” It was very sweet. 2. Another time he was upset about something and he put his face in his hands and said “I’m not happy anymore…” We work a lot on using words to explain how we’re feeling. 3. He loves to read the book “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” He can say most of the words and loves naming the food. 4. His favorite games to play are; Switch: This is a game where we each throw a ball and switch balls in the process. Crash: This is where we crash cars over and over. Big Outside: This is where we go out to the front yard and roll cars or rolls of tape down the sidewalk. Matching with his CARS Memory Game: We line all of the cards face up and we play match that way. He’s finally grasped the concept and loves the game. And finally, Hoops: Grandma and Grandpa Baron got him a basketball hoop that hangs on the guardrail of his bed. He LOVES to shoot hoops and does a good job. He often plays hoops before settling down and rocking with Papa before bed. Jakob is very bright. He is happy and a true blessing. He likes to be clean like his dad, especially when it comes to clean hands. He doesn’t like when something is “hard to do” but we usually insist on him trying one more time. Life is good.
January 11, 2008
It has been a long long time. And so much has happened. A lot of times I think throughout the week about how I need to stop and write about all of the little things Jakob does and how he’s growing up. Tonight he just finished from a half hour quiet moment of reading Leif’s Calvin and Hobbs comic book. We noticed that he was quiet and I peeked onto the bed to see him just looking at each page. Now he’s asking for food… even though we recently returned from going out to dinner with Leif’s parents. Buying a kid’s meal is always a risk… will he eat it, or just pick? He still likes most all foods. He likes side salads and healthy choices too. That makes me happy.
It is morning now and he is ornery. Not quite sure why? He definitely has the only child syndrome. But he’s still pleasant the majority of the time. He enjoys his little preschool class and primary. We walk to preschool on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It is a really good workout for me. I’ve noticed lately how much there is still for us to teach him. Things like how to dress and undress himself, potty training, how to hold a pencil, etc. He just hucked his marble game at the wall because it wasn’t working like he wanted it to. I had to put him in his room. Guess he’s craving attention today. So I’ll have to get off the computer and try to wake myself up enough to get the energy to do all that I need to do…. Wish me luck!
January 30, 2008
Sorry , wish I could keep this better updated. But I have the energy tonight, so I’ll write. Before I forget; some cute Jakob things: He’s been kind of sickly lately due to the winter season and starting primary and preschool. One morning he woke up with a bad stomachache and Leif had already gone to school. He and I were lying in bed and he turned to me and said “pray” I thought about how precious that was and then I realized that he not only meant prayer, but he was asking for a priesthood blessing. I love when that strong little spirit shines through. I explained that only Papa could give priesthood blessings, but Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers and if we prayed together, He would help Jakob feel better. So I put my hand on Jakob’s tummy and we had a sweet prayer. Jakob fell asleep and felt better when he woke up. I was truly grateful for the experience.
Jakob loves primary right now and he loves to sing I Am a Child of God, and Choose the Right. He also loves to talk about CTR and choosing the right. We have several Bible storybooks that are his favorites as well as a book called I Love to see the temple. He loves us to sing that song to him. He likes to talk about how mama and papa were born in the temple; he means married but he gets it mixed up. We’re all excited to have baby Caleb within the next couple few months. Jakob is Very Excited. He often talks about what he will do with the baby…
I had a week where I struggled with anxiety over whether we would struggle with comparing Caleb to Jakob and creating a complex and stereo type. Hopefully we won’t and all will be well. I’m so used to just having Jakob that I often wonder what it will be like. But Jakob has been a blessing and with Leif’s genes we’ll be just fine. I love Caleb already; I just want all of my kids to be happy kids. I can’t remember how active Jakob was at this time of pregnancy. Caleb is really active Especially if I eat chocolate. He really reacts to chocolate. I will need to remember that. He also squirms a lot when I lay on my side. Sometimes I worry about the cord being pinched. It will be nice to not be pregnant anymore and have him out with us where I can then deal with the new journey Which is easier?... PregnancyJ
Life has been good lately. I’ve been more tired this last trimester. But that’s about it. The pregnancy has been a blessing. I started taking Rhodiola Root and Cayenne to boost my metabolism, mood, circulation, and immune system. I think it has helped. Leif is doing well in school. I finally heeded the Lord’s prompting to get more involved in the business endeavor that Leif is working on, ITV Ventures. For the most part, it has been good for me, probably all of it has been good for me, it’s just that I fight it a bit because I struggle with consistent motivation and energy. I have really created almost a hermit like status that hasn’t been good, and working a business again has been really good for me. It strengthens my brain and character.
Leif and I are learning a lot and trying to find a good system to help us reach our goals. Finding the balance, that is almost always the journey. The phone is ringing, late at night, it’s actually my aunt Kathy Westwood, Leif’s talking with her. She and Jim are working ITV Ventures too. But she just wants everyone’s contact information. It’s nice to have family members that take the initiative to keep everyone in touch. I got thinking about Grandma Stanger the other night… I was reading an Ensign article by President Monson and somehow the vision of grandma’s rose bushes outside of her side door came time mind and it brought a sweet and melancholy feeling. How I love my grandma and miss her….
President Hinckley passed away this last Sunday. It was not unexpected, he was 97 years old. But he will be deeply missed. Such a precious and influential man. I wish very much we could make the trip to his funeral, but Leif keeps me in reality and my present condition , money, and time allows us only to watch the funeral on television. I remember the day that President Hinckley was sustained, I was laying on the bed in our bedroom in 1995 and as I raised my hand to sustain him, the spirit rested upon me and confirmed to me that he was truly a prophet of God. I am grateful for that testimony. As I was reading the many articles about him; Church News, Deseret News, and also various national news, I was particularly impressed by a statement given by President George Bush.
It is as follows: Statement from President George W. Bush: Laura and I are deeply saddened by the death of our friend, Gordon B. Hinckley. While serving for over seven decades in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Gordon demonstrated the heart of a servant and the wisdom of a leader. He was a tireless worker and a talented communicator who was respected in his community and beloved by his congregation. As President of his church, he traveled to more than 60 countries to spread a message of love and optimism to the millions of people around the world who shared his faith. A Mayflower descendent and the grandson of Mormon pioneers, Gordon was a deeply patriotic man. His leadership and service strengthened the Board of Trustees of Brigham Young University, the Boy Scouts of America, and the 2002 Winter Olympic Games in Salt Lake City. In 2004, I was honored to present him with the Medal of Freedom, our Nation's highest civil award, in recognition of his lifelong public service. Laura and I will miss Gordon's friendship and wisdom. Our thoughts and prayers are with his five children and the rest of the Hinckley family. Praise to the man…
Leif and I have been very much following the current presidential campaign that’s going on. I think it is probably a historical and the most unique of it’s kind. We have on the democratic side: Hillary Clinton (a woman) and Barok Obama (a black man of Muslim decent) and the Republicans: Mitt Romney (a LDS) and John McCain (a typical politician that claims to be conservative Rep, but acts as a democrat) Leif and I have no objections to having a woman, an African American, a Muslim, a Mormon, or a Military Politician as a president. We’re not prejudice. BUT we definitely feel strongly about who is most qualified for our present state of the country (struggling economy in a state of war.) We strongly feel that Mitt Romney is the most qualified, not because he is LDS, but because he has a very good mind on his shoulders and as he put it in the debate tonight, he won’t go into office with a bunch of lobbyists hanging onto his elbow. On the republican’s side, the race is tight between McCain and Romney, but McCain just got some big endorsements and I fear he might take it. I truly worry if that is the case because then we have no happy medium, Clinton, Obama, and McCain are the three that would be the front runners and as Leif put it, it’s like voting for three Democrats and no republicans. McCain is so flamboyantly military minded that I fear what will happen. I fear a draft or something extreme. With Clinton and Obama, I just don’t even know…. It is crazy. So much “Politically correctness” So much conspiracy and politics… It is an interesting race, and it will be an interesting 4-8 years in the future. Luckily, I don’t have any teenagers yet that I have to worry about to the extreme that some might have to. I can still try to keep them under my wings and try to train them and prepare them for their future.
OH, on my extended family update, my parents have finally made the final decision to begin the process of selling the business. My dad is taking 5 weeks off from Deseret News to have the time to work with a broker and sell it. It is such a big step. It will be a new season and journey of life. I hope they can survive it with dignity.
March 12, 2008
Well, another couple of months have gone by. That’s amazing!! I only have a few weeks left until I deliver Caleb. Things are still going just fine. I have some itching and I’m Really big. Carrying all up front. But thanks to sleep aids at night my body isn’t getting too fatigued. I get VERY loopy with the Benedryl and Ambian. But that is the Only way I can Get to sleep and stay asleep. Crazy!
Leif is doing well in school. It’s Spring Break and I’ve managed to monopolize practically his whole week. He is VERY patient. Today I’m trying to let him do what he wants to do. My nesting instinct is in full swing. I have ordered all of the baby things we needed, we’ve deep cleaned, I’ve organized and re-organized. I’m working on a digital scrap book for Jakob. I’m just trying to keep busy so I don’t get too anxious. We’re going to try and get Dr. Bowman to induce me on April 4th. So I don’t have too long. I think I’ll be able to fill the time.
Jakob is doing well. He loves school and primary and has progressed leaps and bounds. He’s even grown a few inches. Still hasn’t hit 30 pounds. But he’s getting taller. And smarter. Right now he loves to draw airplanes and houses. He talks about monsters and Transformers. He talks about Jesus and the world around him that Jesus made. He loves to sing primary songs as well as “Leaving on a jet plane, We all live in a Yellow Submarine… and any funny song he can make up. He learned to two previous songs from Leif’s guitar practice. We finally got Jakob his own guitar to play. He has started to say his own prayers. I think they say prayer at preschool, although, it might be primary… either way he has learned from the other kids around him how to pray, not that we haven’t taught himJ Jakob LOVES to have family scripture study. He truly leads us in this habit. He loves the military size scriptures I gave him and he loves to listen for all of Heavenly Father and Jesus’ names so he can highlight them. He loves to call them out when he hears them, even if we’re at church, etc. It’s wonderful that he is able to focus and enjoy the gospel.
We are all really excited for Caleb. Jakob can feel him move now if he’s sitting on my lap. Caleb moves a lot. I don’t know if it’s in my head, but I think he stirs when he hears Jakob. He will also move if anything touches my stomach. There are times that Jakob shows the typical new sibling anxiety and he will hit my stomach if he gets upset. Although, that might just be because it is right at eye level and sticking straight outJ… We all laugh now when I’m sitting down and Jakob will look over at me and say, “Caleb is growing big big, Mama’s tummy is BIG!” He struggles with sitting on my lap now “ Mama has a big tummy” he says. Leif and I ponder more now what it will be like to have a new baby that isn’t Jakob. With the girls we didn’t get a normal chance. But we’ve all gone through the normal processing period where we have worked through the acceptance of Jakob not being our only child. But we’re through that and really excited! We’re going on a vacation in May. Jared and my parents are sponsoring a trip to Nauvoo with us. We are VERYYYYY Excited. The baby will be little. But he should be fine. Well, I can’t sit here anymore…. All is well!
March 29, 2008
Well, I’m feeling upbeat about this weekend. My contractions were regular for at least three hours. Unfortunately, I had to take my meds to sleep and that slowed them down. But I think we’ll be okay and get things going again. The doctor helped a little yesterday during the exam. So I’m really hoping. We’re at 38 ½ weeks and I feel like everything is fine. The Saturday before Easter we went to the temple for our stake temple day. It was really nice to be there again. While I was sitting in the chapel before the session a middle name for Caleb came to mind. I thought about it, and decided that I needed to tell Leif when I got the chance. We went through the session and then sat in the Celestial room and prayed and visited with our good friends the Jensen’s. As we were walking out of the Celestial Room, Leif stopped me and said “I almost forgot, what do you think about Caleb Noble?” I stopped in my tracks and said “You’ve got to be kidding! That is the name that came to me.”
April 6, 2008
Well, tomorrow is the official day. If something happens tonight, we’ll be happy. But I’m thrilled at the thought of finally giving birth and meeting our new baby. The last week has been a roller coaster ride. We have tried EVERYTHING to get my labor started enough to make a difference. When I say everything, I mean everything. Saturday we hiked Squaw Trail in K. We hiked a really good distance to the first look out. I’ve tried an herbal tincture, walking a good mile every day, taking a drive in the truck along the Loop Road (which is a VERY bumpy 1+ hour ride), bouncing on the trampoline, and some other natural things that I’ll spare you from hearing about. Pretty much the only thing I didn’t try was Castor Oil. I know that one doesn’t work and I wasn’t about to try it.
After the week of that fun stuff, we thought there had to be a good chance that I was ready enough to have the doctor break my water and induce me on Friday. But no. I hadn’t progressed at all. We were all very surprised! The doctor “helped things along” as much as he could, and he thought I’d deliver within that day. But I haven’t had hardly anything all weekend. The good news is that he said he would induce my labor on Monday (tomorrow) so that has gotten me through.
Our guess is that Caleb just isn’t engaged in the pelvis enough to put the constant pressure needed to open things up. I hope everything will go well tomorrow. I’ve been a bit discouraged this week because on Sunday I was laboring a lot and we wanted to keep it going so we walked A LOT and it was very windy and cold outside. Jakob and I caught a cold. Not severe, but I wanted to be really healthy when Caleb was born. We’re on the down slope now and Leif and Mark just gave Jakob and I a blessing. We were told that things would be fine and Caleb would be protected. I was told that I would have the strength to be a new mother and Caleb would be born happy and healthy. I was told that if I stayed close to the Lord I would be inspired as I helped Caleb and Jakob during this time. I’m really excited! Jakob’s blessing was very sweet. He was told that he would get better and that he would be blessed with wisdom and strength to welcome Caleb into our family and help Leif and I care for him. He was told that the angels would be round about him to lead him to choose the right. He was blessed with the ability to potty train coming up soon and learn to read and write his name as we work through the summer. It was a very sweet blessing!
We have had the privilege of watching and participating in General Conference this weekend. Saturday morning session was the Solemn Assembly where we sustained Thomas S. Monson as our prophet. It was a special moment. They had all of the auxiliaries stand individually. So Leif stood with the Elders and I with the Relief Society, and Jakob with the rest of the membership (the primary.) He was pleased at the chance to stand and raise his hand. I felt a warm witness as I sustained the prophet that he is a prophet of God. No bells and whistles. Just the warm tingle and a calm feeling. It has been nice to sit as a family and listen to all of the wonderful talks!

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