Thursday, October 04, 2012

Did You Know?

Did you know that Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream is supposed to be 4 servings worth!? Seriously! That is just rude!:) I think I deserve to eat the whole thing without feeling guilty tonight. Okay, it looks like I ate 3 servings worth. That spares me some of the guilt:)

Oh Wow! -Sigh- This month is such a tender one for me out of all of the months of the year. And the memories start to creep in and have dates and events to compare with starting right about now....  I flew back from a two week stay in a Seattle hospital 6 years ago this week. My body was threatening to miscarry my twins at any moment. We were just buying time however we could.

This weekend is General Conference for our church. It is held this particular weekend every October and April. I was admitted into the Maternal Fetal Medicine floor of the LDS Hospital in Salt Lake City during the afternoon session on Saturday's General Conference. I just knew that I needed their help. Little did we know what was ahead. Six weeks in that hospital room. It was a long journey. One that we refer to often as a defining moment in our lives.

I often wonder what it would have been like to have 5 kids under the age of 8 years old. When I fill out a form with my kids' ages, not a single time goes by when I don't think about the fact that the (6) in age line up is missing. If they would have lived it would read 2, 4, 6, and 8 years old. But instead I write 2, 4, and 8 years old. That's a big gap. It's difficult sometimes. I think Jakob would have enjoyed having his little sisters. Most of his best friends are the little girls who are exactly my girls' age. For the last couple of years I've pondered the idea of getting all of those sweet girls, whom I just happen to adore, and having a little girl party in celebration of my girls... But then I decide it's probably not the best idea. Some things are just best left alone. So instead, I cherish the moments that I do get to spend with those little girls and try not to think too hard on what could have been. Try is the key word there...

I'm preparing for General Conference weekend.  If you know my family very well, you know that General Conference is a big deal in our family traditions. This year I've really struggled! I feel bad, but I haven't even looked at the possible activities and packets for this year that are available on the internet. I'm just sad that Leif won't be with us. It's really hard trying to take care of the kids on my own. Really Hard! Especially during a conference session, or four. I've been trying to figure out how to find this weekend enjoyable and I finally had the thought that we could go to my aunt and uncle's house in St. George and spend the weekend with them. I'm looking forward to visiting with them. So here's hoping for a good weekend filled with inspiration on love. Heaven knows I could use the boost right about now! All will be well, I know!

1 comment:

Harmony said...

Hope your weekend went well. I was thinking of you and my brother and sister when that dear brother shared his story of loosing his young son. Miss you

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