Wednesday, March 23, 2016

All Will Be Made Alive

The last post I wrote was about the nightmares that I struggle with sometimes. Gratefully those have subsided. However, today I am feeling a lot of anxiety. I mean, it's not like I don't have a few good reasons to feel anxious, right? I've got my kids home all day, and I am far from the homeschooling mom that I would like to be. I'm working on packing up the family to move to an island in the middle of the Pacific, the Easter bunny's supposed to make his grand entrance this weekend, and ...

But today, I know one of the things that is Really bothering me. And usually when I am faced with this struggle I have to close all emotion down about it completely. But today, I'm going to allow it to flow, process, and move on.

Today, I am accepting the fact that we are once again moving further (much further) away from the cemetery where our girls are buried.  Every time we move, it seems we move further away from that spot. It's so sad when you think about it.  I've never lived near it. And sometimes it just gets to me.

Today I was thinking about how trapped and distraught I would feel about moving away from them if I didn't know within my soul that the cemetery is only where their bodies are lying. And that they live on in a Heaven. How grateful I am for this knowledge. It saves my sanity in this life.

This weekend we celebrate Easter. The celebration of our Savior's Resurrection, and in turn, the Resurrection of all mankind. How grateful I am to know that one day I won't mourn the absence of my babies anymore. I won't long for a daughter on this earth. I will no longer need a cemetery to mark their short lived existence upon the earth. For they will be with me. I will hold them in my arms. I will raise them as my own. I will be whole once again.

To my Savior, my soul cries out, How Great Thou Art! For in Him, All will be made alive.  And in time, All will be well!!

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