Personal Scripture Study - Challenge Accepted

Most likely you are one of the amazing women who heard our prophet ask us a few months ago to start and finish the Book of Mormon by the end of the year, and then to share our experiences. 😀 So, I've been reading on Facebook for the last week all about your special experiences while taking on that challenge. 

Well, here's mine... I'VE STARTED! I'VE FINALLY STARTED!!! 😂😂😂  I've felt bad that I didn't take on the challenge. In fact, I have to be honest, I only skimmed over your experiences. Because I was jealous. But I'll repent and go back and read it with heart.😉

I loved the hug that President Nelson gave those of us who didn't finish this particular race, when he said "I hope that each of these invitations has brought you closer to the Savior. If you have struggled with any of them, please don’t be hard on yourself. You can start today. The Lord is happy with any effort we make to draw closer to Him." 💓 This is Love! This is Christlike Love! No condemnation. Just loving encouragement and validation for what efforts we have and will put forth. I feel blessed to be led by a man who leads in this way. 

So, I started today to read The Book of Mormon and finish it by the end of the year. I am following a cute little calendar I found online. And Leif and I started to read The New Testament together. What a peace the scriptures bring into our lives. 

Leif and Lena Baron Family

Christmas Update for 2018

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of our Dear Friends and Family!!  We hope that this letter finds you well and happy. Our family is doing well! We've officially lived in California for one year now. Three months in Bakersfield and nine months in Huntington Beach.

Leif is working in Compton at MLK Community Hospital as a permanent float pool RN and is no longer a travel nurse. He enjoys the hospital and his co-workers. And they Love him! As a float pool nurse he is assigned to departments all over the hospital including the ER and the ICU. His latest evaluation was filled with praise and gratitude from the administration. Can't beat that! He is also finishing up his final year of his Masters Degree as a Family Nurse Practitioner. It's amazing to think that there's a light at the end of that tunnel. Leif and I finally convinced ourselves, and the ward leadership, that we will truly be staying here. Leading them to give us each a calling in the ward. Leif is serving in the primary and I am in the primary presidency as second counselor.  Leif is an amazing nurse. But he is an even better father and husband. He brings a life and light to our home that is hard to beat.

Lena, well, I'm doing well! I am happy. And I have all that I could ask for. I have a testimony of my Savior and His gospel. I have an amazing husband. I have seriously, Seriously, amazing children. Especially my sweet baby who is currently my constant companion. Which I know was absolutely meant to be for this time in my life. I live in a beautiful part of the country in a place close to the ocean, sunshine, and all of the conveniences of life that a mother could ask for. I am making good friends along the way. And keeping friends old and new from around the world. My cup runneth over, really. On the harder days I have plenty of good things to keep me from falling too deep, for too long into the dark. We have finally narrowed down the names and diagnosis' to my ailments. Which has been a lifelong journey up to this point.  And we are only steps away from getting control of a lot of the struggles I face daily. I feel very very grateful and blessed!!

Jakob. Jakob. Honestly, Jakob is the linchpin of the family right now. His mood and influence determines much of how the rest of the house feels. Gratefully, he is most often cheerful, helpful, silly, and uplifting. Wherever Jakob is, there will be music. He revolves around listening to, exploring, and creating music. All different genres :)  Jakob has full blown ADD. So this means that he is a constant multitasker. For example, right now he's listening to his current music, while playing or watching his favorite computer game of War Thunder (currently as a Fighter Pilot), all while juggling his baby brother. Really, that's a small scale example for him. Most of the time he's flipping through several different random YouTube things he's researching at the moment. All while playing and listening to music. He's pretty impressive. His parkour, writing, and acting skills are equally impressive. He is now a Teacher in the Priesthood and takes this very seriously. Jakob has a "presence" about him. He makes a big impact on whatever, whoever, and where ever he is. I love to watch him interact with the kids at church and school. He's so unique. Yet, they all admire him. It's pretty fascinating to watch. Jakob has his health challenges too. Which we're finally able to address. His rheumatologist is the chief rheumatologist of the children's hospital and is a great doctor. Jakob's up against some challenges with Juvenile Arthritis. But he'll tackle them like a champ. Of that I have no doubt.

Caleb, what would we do without Caleb!? Caleb "shakes things up a bit", every day. 😁 He is showing so much progress in school. He's in the 4th grade and we love to watch his writing and spelling improve as he puts his mind to it daily. Caleb has a kind and tender heart. He really wants everyone around him to be their best self. Caleb still Loves WWII and military history, especially anything about tanks and tank battles. Caleb still battles Autism and ADHD. But he has mastered many “life skills” by now that have moved him forward in many ways. We are so proud of him and love every ounce of him and all that he is.

JJ, or rather, “Jonathan”, as he has chosen to go by at school; is as wonderful and complex as his full given name of Jonathan Jefferson Lee Baron. 😲 He was baptized this summer and his tender spirit and desire to do good reflects the commitment to Christ he made. He is doing great in school. And has made a lot of friends. Which means that he's finally able to go a week or more without talking about how much he misses Alton (his favorite place to live). 😉 JJ Loves dinosaurs and hopes to be a paleontologist some day. JJ is a great brother. Especially with Joshua. He will read and play with him for hours. I also love to watch JJ and Caleb navigate their relationship. I often compare them to “two grumpy old men, sittin’ on a porch, tryin’ to outdo each other as they talk story.” 😂 They know that if I start calling them “Frank” and “Bob”, that it's time for them to simmer down and make some peace💓

Joshua. Our precious Little Caboose. I would be, and was, lost without him. I love all of my children! But each of them has had the season where they are “My Baby.” And this is his. Though, I have a feeling that his season might last just a little bit longer then the others did. ;) Joshua is what I call a “conflicted introvert”.  Much like his Papa, he can be the life of the party and yet be one who would rather hang back within his own thoughts and observations. He has a presence about him, much like Jakob. People are drawn to his warmth. Though his quick smile and strawberry blonde curls help him in this regard, i’m sure. He will jibber jabber to people, himself, the windows, and to his toys, all day long. Telling all of his favorite stories.

He LOVES HIS BROTHERS and will mimic their every word and action. Truthfully, the only real word that he says without hesitation and with full understanding is  “pray” .And he brings his two hands together in the sign of prayer. It shocked and tickled us when he surprised all of us one night at family prayer. Otherwise, there's a lot of testing of sounds and signs. But few true blue words. He says “mama”. But rarely with a purpose. Joshua is healthy for the most part. He's walking, eating, and doing all the cute things a 15 month old baby should. The only concern that still lingers from his rough and early birth is the possibility of some nerve or neurological damage with his right arm. It's very subtle. But he crawls on a fist and his arm gives out on him here and there. So we're meeting with a Pediatric Neurologist about that. He also has a problem with his right eye. It likes to wander outwards on occasion. So that will be fixed later. Once the muscles are grown more. So, all in all, for a baby who came out not breathing for a bit, we are So Very Grateful for the health and strength he is blessed with. And for the treasure that he has become within our family.

Thank you all for catching up with us! Please know that we Love you all and miss you and your company. Also, please remember that there are  ALWAYS Good Things To Come in this life! We must not give up! Please endure to the end, In Christ. For, we know with all of our hearts that He will carry us through all things.

With Love,

The L&L Baron Family

Rough Day

THIS is what a pretty bad day looks like. I thought it appropriate that my pajamas say ME.  I'm so grateful for the Blogger app on my phone. Otherwise, I would not be blogging.

The next stage has hit. Stage three last week was easy compared to other months. But starting New Years eve night, BAM!#! Next Stage. I was woke up from my body pain. And that's. Sayin something. Because I went to sleep exhausted. Yeah, the pain level was about a 7. I've kept it down to 5/6 since then with Ib profin and tylonal. But man, the hardest part today is the lethargy.

The house is a disaster! We had to empty the van Completely to take it to the shop. So the house is overflowing. Then we walked in New Years eve from our party and Dropped everything in the kitchen and went to bed. Then yesterday no cleaning took place. So, Cr#p! It's a Mess!!!  (insert crying emoji). The baby was up every two to three hrs last night. And if you know me, you know our night starts Very early. Like 7pm early. So that's a lot of getting up and down. That wasn't helpful.

Leif works for the next two days. So I have to reign this in by myself. 

So let's think:
Laundry: towels and shirts
Bathrooms: Jakob replace garbage bags into cans. Littles gather clothes to baskets.
Living Room: Garbage Check (everyone gather garbage and throw it away.) Littles gather Shoes, Blankets.
Kitchen: Garbage check. Jakob help put big things away. Clear eating area on table.

UPDATE:

So it's been a few hours. I was able to rally and get up and go. Thanks to a good friend who sent me a text cheering me on. Thanks to Facebook, she knew I was struggling. :) She was too. And she sent pics to let me know that I wasn't alone. :) So I decided to show some pics. The house isn't spotless. But it's sanitized and tidy enough. I am grateful for what we accomplished. Now I'm ready for a nap. :) :) :) 

BEFORE

AFTER

BEFORE

AFTER

The Power of a New Year

Some years January 1st has come and gone for me without enough time to even think about it, let alone set goals and ponder the future. Gratefully today I have time to sit and take it in, think it through, and set some goals.

I drew up five quick goals yesterday while multitasking with Leif. I found the scenario very fitting of our lifestyle. Here we were, Leif and I, driving together to Costco to shop. We're talking story, updating each other on life, and all the while I have my phone in my hand and I was jotting down five goals that I plan to follow throughout this upcoming year.

This is the classic picture of how our life rolls. Big events coming and going throughout the day-in and day-out normalcy of family life. My mind always going in a few different directions at one time. Leif patiently understanding how my mind works. Still knowing that I'm "with him", even though from an outside view it seems that I'm completely disregarding him and our conversation. ... Amazing!

So the five goals that I set aren't necessarily profound. They're the basics of living a Christ and family centered life. But as we know, living "the basics", isn't always the easy way. We tend to clutter our lives with much more then "the basics."  Clutter for me consists of sleep and binging on shows. Then I have the necessary evil of chores that have to be done. Such as keeping the how sanitary and tidy. Notice, I did not say "Clean and In Order." Those things happen. But they aren't always an every day occurrence.

There are a very few Christ centered things that happen throughout the week that I plan to continue. First, we pray a lot. It kinda feels repetitive, I won't lie. But I am so Grateful for every prayer that in spoken in the walls of my home. We pray over almost every meal (especially if Leif is home and meals aren't "fend for yourself." :) We pray before the boys leave for school. And we pray before they go to sleep. We read the scriptures every morning before the kids go to school. In the back of my mind I have a promise that a General Authority gave about the protection that comes to our children when we read the scriptures daily. I'm not naive enough to believe that we'll be spared from all bad things. But I absolutely count on the fulfillment of that promise every day as I send my boys out into the world. I need every assurance I can get that they will have angels surrounding them along their way.  And we go to church on Sunday.

Honestly, those things listed are huge in the life of our children. And I am grateful for the strength of body and mind that has allowed me to make these things a routine part of our daily life. This hasn't always been the case depending on my well-being. We celebrate every good day at our house. :)

This year I hope to add a few things to our routine that will bring us closer to Christ as a family and as a couple.

This year I am going to focus on creating a habit of reading the scriptures personally. I think I will read the Book of Mormon personally and the New Testament with Leif and then more with the family.

Leif and I will add a regular temple trip to our monthly routine. Setting an appointed day in the temple with the Lord.

These last couple, few years I have become more and more able to reach outside of myself and my family bubble towards friendships. This wasn't the case for several years. In fact, I was telling Leif yesterday how sad I am about this. During the time that I was "in my bubble" which was because of illness and grief, I missed out on the last years of a dear friends life. She past away a few years ago and I am often struck with the disappointment of that lost time. True friendships are so healthy and important in our lives here on this busy overwhelming earth. This year I am going to take time to strengthen my friendships.

Something that will most definitely be a challenge for me, I'll be honest. Is creating a habit of weekly Home Sunday School. That's what I'm calling it anyway. The church has given us a full curriculum to follow throughout every week as a family called Come Follow Me studying the New Testament. Now, if you have been an obedient member of the LDS church, you will have been having Family Home Evening lessons every week for years. Let's cut to the chase and let you know that our family has many a Family Home Evenings "playing" together. But the only "lesson" time we have are the life lesson moments throughout daily life and the morning scripture study. And any more then that, well, that is not going to be easy!  BUT, we will do it!! Leif and I are committed and the absolute blessing is that I know my boys are committed to following the commandments and guidance of the prophet as well. This, is all that we need to succeed. Some how, it will all work out...

Finally, this year, I am going to focus time daily on blogging. President Eyring talks about the fact that he writes in his journal Every Night before going to sleep, "no matter how tired" he is. So, I say to myself, if a man as busy as him can do that, so can I.

So, there it is: My five New Year's Resolutions for the year 2019!

Happy New Year!!!

We celebrated the new year with some great friends! The Days, Flints, and Mills. What a Blessing to be surrounded by such great people. We feel so blessed!!

Attached at the Hip

This little guy is extremely attached to me. At home everyone tries to help me get a break and rest. But for the most part, it's me and him.   He follows me everywhere. I don't remember the other boys doing this. Really, I don't mind THAT much. But it's really hard physically to lug him around if need be. I'm SO grateful for so many friends who help me with him at church!! I'm grateful for the carrier that I have that goes on my waist and gives him a seat to sit on. I'm grateful for my family who take turns with him. And I'm so grateful for him! I really love having a baby right now. He's such a light in my life!!!

A Suprise Visit

My brother Jared and his family came to CA for a vacation. We were able to spend the afternoon and evening together. I am Sooo Glad we had the time together!

Hard Things Ahead

I've promised myself that I will write every single day. So, here I am. In a way I'm glad that I don't have a lot of readers anymore. Because I am very rusty at finding good topics of discussion...

At the moment, I'll just talk about life. The day after Christmas we got some very stressful and discouraging news. The Nurse Practitioner that Leif was going to precept with (follow around for school) canceled. This is a HUGE deal. When she agreed to precept Leif I felt like an elephant had been lifted off of my shoulders. I can't imagine how Leif felt. So it's hard to have that stress back.

But I feel somewhat peaceful about the situation.  Or, I just haven't taken it back on. Although, today I think I came up with some good ideas on what we could do to find preceptors. First, I think we'll call on some of Leif's Travel Nurse recruiters and see if they want a side job of finding doctors to precept Leif. It takes lots of phone calls, follow up calls, emailing back and forth. So we need some help!! Leif doesn't have the time AT ALL. And my mind and social ability is only intact 6 days out of the week. So I'm useless. It's a nightmare!!

So, the second idea is for Leif to square away precepting with the doctors he worked with in Kanab or Panguitch (Utah). He would then work a 6 days on/8 days off schedule. He would drive to Utah on the days off. It is reminiscent of his initial nursing school degree experience. When he lived in Flagstaff and we lived 5 hrs north in Fredonia.

It would be a nightmare!! But we would survive. I only know that now because we have survived so many hard separations since then. When he went to Flagstaff it was the first time we were ever apart. I almost didn't make it. It took a horrendous toll on me emotionally to be without Leif.  But I am praying that I have learned coping skills from our experiences since then. And I just have a sure knowledge that we can do hard things if need be. We'll be working on figuring out the details over the next few weeks.

Tell Me About 40 Years Old!

Tell me about 40 Years Old. What are the traditions. What makes it Great!? What makes it Horrible!?  What should we do to celebrate???

Leif and I both turn 40 this year. Like, in a week! ;) 

So Much More Than PMS: PMDD.

Do you ever wonder if you have multiple personalities? I have. Instead, I have what is called PMDD. Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. IT means within the 30 days of my menstrual cycle I litterally cycle through 5 different stages of being. When it's really bad, I do wonder if it feels similar to a Dissociative Identity Disorder.... Below I have written about MY TYPICAL CYCLE.  Starting now, I will label each post I write with the Stage that I'm in. I do this because as my cycle evolves, so will my writing voice...   It's quite a fascinating phenomenon, really. Albeit, hellish at times!

STAGE ONE (DAYS 1-6): Are a bloody migraine-filled mess. I try hard not to schedule anything outside of the house. For that matter, I try not to have to get out of bed for the first few days of this week because of the mess.  

STAGE TWO (DAYS 7-13): The bloody fog has lifted and lightened by this week. This is my week to make important phone calls, visits, Dr appointments, and grocery shopping. My mind is clearer and so is my heart. I find myself feeling more caring, romantic, and affectionate this week. Which is a blessed change from the other weeks in the month. However, this is also the week when my nights are filled with vivid nightmares and my days may be spent starting my next novel, maxing out a credit card on household organizing goods, or hyper-focusing on my friends and family and our relationships if I am not able to keep it all in check.

STAGE THREE (DAYS 14-20): By day 16 I have returned back to hibernation mode. My body wants to do nothing but sleep and eat sweets. My mind is filled with fog and anxiety about all of the stupid things I did or said during the last week of my energy filled whirlwind. My face, mouth, and throat are covered with autoimmune vasculitis; my body hurts all over, and my tongue seems to be directly connected to my frontal lobe which means sometimes you’ll hear me swear like an ol’ fashioned sailor.

STAGE FOUR (DAYS 21-26): Unfortunately this week things don’t really let up, except for the fatigue, sometimes. By now, Marge has surely entered the scene. Marge is the name for my alter ego. She has the ability to destroy a marriage if she’s let out of control for too long. She is filled with anxiety and a fear of rejection. She suffers from PTSD related to the loss of our girls and an emotionally rough childhood. She can cut Leif to the core in one seething second if not reigned in and shut up.

STAGE FIVE (DAYS 26-30): If we’re lucky Marge has left the building by now and things have settled down emotionally and psychologically so we only have the physical yuck to deal with leading back into day one. This is also another time when I might be more up for a romantic evening if we get the chance.
Image Credit

Hold Me Back

I just spent the day reading the book "Is It Night or Day?" by Fern Schumer Chapman. It is a story published by Scholastic that I borrowed from my boys' Christmas present stash. 

It was a Sad Story! And if you know me well, you know that I Hate books and movies with sad endings. Gratefully, this book ended on a somewhat happy note.

But all of that is beside the point that I began pondering while reading this book. I've been struck by this thought before. And it sounds almost boastful of myself. But it's not meant to be...

The thought that hits me every once in a while is this, "what if I am given all of these health struggles as a way to hold me back? To keep me from taking on the world... to keep me from running to give aid to everyone and everything i see who needs it. To keep me grounded and focused on what He wants me to focus on Right Now. What if?... And then the thought, "Okay. Then When?" ...  I ask, as my mind daydreams about all of the possibilities.

But then I remember. Not Now. "Hold Me Back." Keep me where I am truly most needed. Most helpful. Most happy. Most Right. Right Now.

An Amazing Christmas Season

What an amazing Christmas season it has been!! I was blessed with many good days and so much fun and joy to fill them up.

I relaxed on all of the traditions and just did as much as could be done. And great moments were had. We read a few Christmas stories. One that was written by a Dear family friend, Shelley Christiensen, called A Tumbleweed Christmas. We also watched a new show about Charles Dickens all about the back story of his writing A Christmas Carol. It was a Great start to the season! And then on Christmas Eve we watched A Christmas Carol.
The kids participated in acting out The Nativity with the primary. I am always grateful when they get that chance. We delivered cookie tins to our neighbors. I think it shocked some of them.  I really miss how it was growing up. We had a counter filled with goodies to Give and by Christmas Eve it was covered in goodies that had been Given to us. My kids haven't experienced that. And that makes me sad. But I'm grateful they've experienced the Giving!!! 

Of course, the highlight of the partying this season was our trip to Disneyland. We had such a great time!!! The evening light/water show was absolutely Stunning!!  We stood in awe the whole time. The fun and theme of California Adventure Park was more up our alley with a family of boys. Especially the Guardians of the Galaxy. The kids had a blast dancing in the streets with the characters from the show. Such a blast!!

We drove through the neighborhoods that weave through the harbor and looked at Christmas lights. They were amazing!  Apparently they are better in their back yards facing the water. Maybe next year we'll take the harbor light cruise.

Our tree was a huge hit this year!! We originally hung it from the the ceiling to make it high enough that Joshua couldn't play with it. But it looked strange. So, we jokingly decided to flip it Upside-down. It made us laugh so much that we decided to leave it.  It's been a great highlight.

I used our new china cabinet to display our more fragile and reverent Christmas decorations. I have Loved it!!! In fact, I'm going to leave some of it up permanently. 

Christmas Eve was special as usual this year. I asked Leif and the boys to go to the beach and watch the sun set. Ahhh, it turned out so neat!!! We gathered shells and chatted. Took pictures and the boys played in the sand. We got pizza and made cookies for dinner. We had peppermint ice cream for dessert.  Everyone was sleepy and the baby was fussy by bedtime. But we still managed to read the nativity story from the Bible.

Leif and I set out the gifts and then crashed. I slept like a rock! We got gift bags for the majority of gifts this year. I didn't have energy or time to wrap. It was a huge success!! 

Christmas morning was wonderful as usual. And then I was gifted a very long nap. So it was great! Leif made french toast for breakfast and I made a ham dinner that evening.

I have missed the days of my childhood when we hopped from party to party with all of the family we were surrounded with. I'm sad my kids don't know what that's like. But they are happy. And so am i! We are blessed with so much. Our needs are met and our hearts are very full of Love as the Christmas season should be.