Friday, November 07, 2008

Remembering My Rhea

I'm trying to figure out how I'm feeling tonight... I started reading a blog about a family who recently lost their two year old. Though uplifting, it got me crying and remembering feelings that I had two years ago tonight. I'm not sure if I am feeling empathy and mourning with those that mourn, or feeling my own loss. My loss seems long ago and I didn't know my daughters more then 8 days in this life. I am not belittling my loss, I just can't imagine loosing one of my children that I had already begun raising.

However, I have noticed one thing between this woman's story and ours. They are carrying the mantel of peace that the Savior gives those in mourning if they will accept it. That was an incredible time in my life...

Two years ago tonight I held my little Rhea for the first, and last time. Many emotions are pouring over me... I haven't felt them for many months. They surfaced from reading this other mother's account of her loss. Leif warned me not to get too deep into it. It was a wise warning. But I think crying is healthy. I don't know how I feel... Probably just sad for my loss. I will forever be in wonder and awe of the fact that I can feel the loss of my girls so strongly even though I did not have them long in this life. It is incredible!

As I was reading this other blog, I went back to the posts that she had written about life leading up to their loss. Life was so normal. However, there were a couple of things that made me sure that the Lord knew the journey that this family was about to face. It is so interesting to think about how life can just go on as normal every day, and then something like the death of a child will happen suddenly. And for that family, they will never look at a day in their life with the same eyes again. We never know what tomorrow brings!

1 comment:

Sandra said...

Lena, I'll be thinking of you today! I can only imagine the feelings you go through thinking of your little girls. How wonderful it is to have the peace the Savior brings.

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