Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Mother-heart Moments - Thank You Dear Father!

Father has given me a few power-filled moments this weekend when I felt an overwhelming gratitude for the Plan that He has for me. It is during moments like these when I am so grateful for my Saviour and His Atonement and the Ressurection.

I has been enough years since my girls passed away that sometimes I have to count to remember where we're at. It has been 4 1/2 years. And then, there are moments like the one I had yesterday during Sacrament meeting when time doesn't exist.  I was sitting there listening to the speaker when I was suddenly overcome with the feeling of an aching mother heart. In my minds eye I could see myself sitting there in a pew filled with five little bodies. My girls would be dressed in their beautiful new Easter dresses... It was so powerful I actually had to turn my head to wake myself to reality again. - Someday I will have those little girls with me ...- Someday...-  Thank you Father for the Ressurection!

That night Leif and I were visiting as we were falling asleep. Leif told me that he had a "Missing" moment that afternoon. He was watching a video on YouTube about Christ's life. Our daughter Leora is named after the story in the bible where Christ raises the little girl from the dead. He says "Talithiacumi" to the girl. This is Leora Lynn's middle name. Leif said he was filled with a longing for the girls during that video. Yes, I do find it neat and interesting that we were both overcome at most likely the same moment in time even though we were not together. I had not told Leif about my experience for fear of breaking down in tears. The tears came when he opened his heart to me. - Thank you Father for the Ressurection!

Today I spent the day cleaning and organizing our newly rearranged home. One of the main tasks that I had to tackle was to go through all of my baby clothes and items. We will not be having any more babies. Not for several years anyway. And even that is a slim chance. And if you know me at all, you know that this fact leaves me with an aching mother heart. I want more babies. But my body was not built to bring forth many babies on this earth. While going through these clothes for the last time in preparation to give them away I found myself becoming more and more heartsick about the whole thing. Luckily my precious gems came in the house to distract me and remind me of what I have in the Here and Now. Thank You Dear Father, for the Here and Now! And Thank You for Eternity!


Hesses Madhouse said...

Such an inspirational story. Thank you for sharing it. Wonderful how our Heavenly Father works for us. What a sweet tender mercy!

Janee said...

My body is not meant to bring forth babies either. We are done. I'm happy and content with our little family. I hope you can find peace in your heart too.

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