Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Take a Load Off

"This weekend was dedicated to me". Well, I told myself that anyway.  With this mentality I gave in to my entitlement mindset and some of my unbridled passions and I ate three different desserts filled with gluten, on three different occasions.  For those of you who don't know, I am severely gluten intolerant. I am also intolerant to eggs. Some of these desserts included eggs in their make-up.

With that said, I will tell you about who I turned into the past couple of days. Actually, I will spare you the details. Let's just picture Mama Hulk or maybe a Mama Jekyll and Hyde. Oh, it has been so very terrible and humiliating! Yesterday was the worst day that I have had for a very long time. My poor family!

The power went out last night. However, before that I had just left the kids room with a very firm "I am done with them!" to Leif. I followed up with,"if any of them wake or call out, YOU take care of it." NICE! From there, I promptly plopped myself in front of my computer and googled "can gluten intolerance cause rage?" Uh, yeah! I felt so heavy laden. That's the only way I can describe it. Just completely out of control and weighed down. And then the lights went out. Not just in my soul, the whole house was silent and dark. It felt very familiar and scary for a moment.

Leif actually had an appointment out of the house last night. So I was going to be alone in the dark with the kids. Luckily he was there to help me calm them when they woke up (their music and night light went out.) Heartless me told Jakob to close his eyes and go back to sleep. My loving husband, he went out and pulled up the solar light from the driveway and took it to their bedroom. Yes, I need to pay attention to his example.

"Ugg, now what!?" this was my thought as I plopped myself down on my bed too disgusted with myself to open up the scriptures to find solace. However, I was completely alone. That is a rare occurance. I decided to try something I had been reminded of lately, praying out loud. Well, I tried. But my mind was going faster then I could get the words out. So I just prayed. I prayed and prayed. Then when I found my words going in circles and I wasn't feeling much better. I decided to give thanks. I had heard somewhere that it helps when you're feeling down (wink, wink ;)  I knelt on my knees to my Father in Heaven and poured out my thanks for at least a half an hour. I found a lot to be grateful for. The miracle however was the weight loss. Truly!  When I finished my prayer, I felt like the load that I had been carrying had literally been lifted from my shoulders. I was able to think clearly and I felt peace.

Thank you Father, for helping me take a load off!

1 comment:

Sandra said...

Mama hulk ha ha I like that. I'm sure my kids would tell you that I turn into mama hulk too. I actually took Luke and Danika on dates Saturday and when I asked them what I could do to be a better Mommy both of them said...Don't get mad. When I asked Luke what else and he said "Don't make me do chores" Thats when I stopped. Nice try though. I've found myself praying soooooo many times to get out of a angry mood. You are not alone :)

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