Tuesday, February 03, 2009

My World

I absolutely LOVED this picture when I found it!
This is how I've felt off and on for the last few days:)

My brain is still foggy, but I'll try to put some thoughts down. I tried reading my book, but Caleb decided to gag on some paper and the book was getting too intense for tonight anyway, so I retreated to the computer where I can still pay attention to Caleb and be entertained.

Anyway, well, if you're wondering why I've been flighty lately it's due to some crazy meds changes and all the joys that go along with that. I'm not sure how it's all going to end up, I've asked Leif to give me a blessing tonight. I finished the books about anti-depressants yesterday. A lot of it was a review and confirmation of what I already knew. But one of them had a few quizzes and questionnaires to help a person define more of what their particular struggles might be based on. Once again my results weren't too surprising. My depression/anxiety is hereditary based with a touch of life's events intermingled in to mix things up even more. I have low serotonin and high dopamine. So SSRI's are the only meds that really work for me. And Wellbutrin should only be taken in the smallest amounts if at all... complex carbohydrates, fruits, veggies and very minimal animal protein and NO Sugar is the best diet for me. Restful and energetic exercise should be alternated every other day, and writing and music makes for good therapy for me.

It sounds like I should have it all figured out huh? Leif put it perfectly when he said, "you can tell that you're off your meds just by the fact that you are confused by all of this."

My frustration is that I am weary by the many many side effects that come along with the meds. And I don't know how the Doctor who wrote about the health and lifestyle plans for depressed people ever got a depressed person to actually find the drive to FOLLOW those plans.:)

The word depressed has become SOOO broad now days. I am actually not a really "depressed" person, I end up more on the no Patience melancholy type.

But anyway, I don't really want to make this a subject of discussion, I just thought I'd update on why I haven't been my usual "ever-blogging" self lately, and get things written down for the record.

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